You’re a Failure and It’s a Good Thing

Failure is a Good Thing

This is my third attempt at writing this article.  Seriously.  You don’t see it because I don’t post every terrible thing I write but I just wanted to let you know.  I also want to let you know that I’ve failed at launching 4 startups.  Custom Web Development, Gift Card Trading, something just like Space Monkey a year prior and an iPhone app.

I also failed quite a lot of courses in college, many job interviews, almost all my relationships and I failed at quite a lot of friendships as well.  Any way you measure me, I’m a pretty hardcore failure.  I would go so far as to say that one of the few things I’m actually good at is failing.

Thankfully, 99% of failures don’t result in something cataclysmic.  Most of the time our failures have tiny consequences that we completely forget about not long after they happen.

If you look at my college degree it will not show you how many times I failed Calculus or Physics and it definitely won’t explain why I failed my college credit gym class “Walking” (long story).  What my college degree will tell you is that I successfully started and completed college and maybe gained some knowledge along the way.

I also really suck at job interviews and before I got my first job out of college I had sent out well over 100 resumes and failed at more prescreen interview phone calls then I’d care to admit.  However, what you might not know is that since my first job 7 years ago I’ve increased my salary by more than 250% and that the salary from my first job after college was 25% higher than the US  Household Median Income at that time.

Michael Jordan is not a failure and neither are you.

Michael Jordan is not a failure and neither are you.

 

The point is that success isn’t measured by how many times you didn’t fail but by what you learned from your failures and what you did with that knowledge.  Like Michael Jordan I’ve been ranting for quite some time on how I give all the credit for my success to my spectacular ability to fail.  Chances are you could say the same thing about yourself.

Children are terrific at failing because they just don’t care.  Think of how many times a child falls and hurts themselves in the difficult journey of learning how to walk.  Or the time they discovered that fire is hot or ice is slippery or that 2+2 does not equal 5.  Imagine if children were as fearful about failing as adults are.  If that were the case, none of us would be able to walk or talk, we’d be mostly useless.  Things like the internet and iPhones would never exist!

Of course you must be thinking about how much time gets wasted from your failures and recovering from them.  I would absolutely agree with you that failing is well, a huge waste of time.  That’s why you need to fail fast and fail often.

Don’t deliberate for hours on if you should do something, chances are you’re going to fail in some fashion anyway so why not just get it over with already?  You could dream about getting a promotion at work and never get it because you were not assertive enough.  Or, you could ask for a promotion and fail.  At least if you practice the Lost Art of Negotiation, next time you’ll be better at it.  Eventually you’ll get what you ask for because you got a lot better at asking.

Like the great all knowing Yoda once said “one attempted salary negotiation does not an expert make” (I may be paraphrasing a bit).  Yoda has a good point and as the cliche goes, practice makes perfect.  With that in mind, you better start failing at negotiation more often if for no other reason then you’ll get better at it over time.

But hey, you’re scared and who knows what’s going to happen when you fail, right?  I’m going to say that in most cases, probably nothing and absolutely a lot less than you imagine would happen.  Turn down that over active imagination of yours because seriously, what would really happen if you for instance failed to get that promotion after asking your boss?  You don’t get a promotion.  That’s it.  The funny thing is you started the day not having the promotion and you’re just ending the day the same way.  Not a big deal.

The good news is you’ll learn something but more importantly something that you didn’t consider might also happen.  Maybe as a result of your failure your boss will have a new found respect for you and maybe he or she will keep you in mind when there is a possibility for a promotion.  It’s highly unlikely that you’ll get fired or severely ridiculed just for asking.  Remember when you fail that you’re not the first person to try what you did and you most certainly won’t be the last.  Fail with pride and no regrets.

Finally, when you fail you not only need to pick yourself up quickly but you need to celebrate.  Maybe you don’t only go out to dinner for those rare occasions where you finally achieved something big.  Maybe when you put an honest effort in and failed you take everyone out to soften the blow and reward yourself for trying. You’ll only be a failure when you stop trying.  You pick yourself up off the ground you get back in there and try again because eventually you’re going to succeed.

I don’t know how you feel about luck but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that your definition of it sucks.  The way I see it, luck is when opportunity meets preparation.  Nobody won the lottery without buying a ticket and you won’t get that promotion without getting out there and trying.  When something great happens to you maybe you shouldn’t write it off as luck because that cheapens all the hard work you put in along the way.

Remember, you’re gonna fail but it’s ok because you do it all the time, you just don’t realize it.  Go out there and give things a shot because who knows, maybe you’ll get lucky.

Do you have any cool stories about failure?  What was your biggest failure and what did you learn from it?  I’d love to hear it all!  You can contribute to the conversation in the comments below.

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  • http://studentloansherpa.com Michael @ The Student Loan Sherpa

    Great article. I consider myself a prolific failure. As a result I occasionally stumble my was into some success. This universal advice applies to everything from work to dating.

  • http://mymoneycounselor.com Kurt @ Money Counselor

    I’m glad you persisted and at last succeeded in writing this article well enough that you published it! Very nice point made, cause for reflection. For the next month I’ve resolved to embrace failure and see what happens. Thanks!

  • http://www.krantcents.com krantcents

    It is only a failure when you give up.. Most, if not all successful people fail numerous times, but they keep trying and usually succeed.

  • http://www.swimuniversity.com Matt Giovanisci

    Ironically I’ve failed English and graphic design, both of which is how I make money today. I wish I could go back and laugh in my teacher’s faces! Maybe I’m just bitter, but I was failed for being too creative. In my English classes, I would fail because of subject matter and not grammar. The good news is, the internet praises creativity and doesn’t give a shit about grammar, for the most part.

    I’ve failed in every aspect of life myself, and it’s made me a better person.

    • http://www.listenmoneymatters.com Andrew

      I couldn’t agree more Matt. It’s funny, in my high school there was this guy (many years before me) who did magic tricks all the time and this one teacher told him that he would never make anything of himself and that he was a loser. Years later the guy came back in a limo and gave free tickets for his show to all the teachers but him. The guy was David Copperfield ;) (true story)

  • http://www.budgetblonde.com Cat Alford (@BudgetBlonde)

    Great post, Andrew! Moving past failure is such an important part of life. I feel like a lot of people get beat down and quit, but it’s the ones who keep trying that really succeed. Also, I really like your Yoda quote. Nerd. ;)

    • http://www.listenmoneymatters.com Andrew

      Hah, thanks Cat! I’m definitely a bigger nerd than I’d like to admit. My fiance and I randomly use catch phrases from Battlestar Galactica. We’re so cool! ;)

      I couldn’t agree more with you more. In the great words of Woody Allen, “Eighty percent of success is showing up.”

  • http://www.debtroundup.com Grayson @ Debt Roundup

    Not sure why I didn’t see this earlier, but great post. I don’t want to count the many things I have failed at, but I don’t consider them failures because I learned so much from them. That is truly how you succeed. Learn from your failures and grow.

  • http://centsandsensibility.ca Lindsey @ Cents & Sensibility

    Hey dude
    Thank you for writing this, I know it’s exactly what I needed at this moment. I am going through a thing that requires me to go over the last ten years of my life and I’ve had this little “fail” cloud of doom following me through this whole thing.

    Thanks for the reminder.

  • http://www.getrichwithme.com GetRichWithMe

    Just stumbled across your blog – this is a great post – it seems to strike a chord with so many other people as well as me. Its nice to see I’m not alone in my bubble of failure

  • http://www.saveinvestgive.com S. B.

    I think the key takeaway for me is to fail fast. If you fail quickly, you can have hundreds of failures and still have time in your life to make it to the big successes. But if you take years for each failure, you may never get there.

  • http://www.thelifeinsuranceblog.com/ Jason

    Your comment about children not caring about failure struck a chord with me. My son will fall down a million times playing outside, scrape his knees even, and he’s back at it again the next day. But you can see minor improvements almost constantly. Sometimes it takes a little reflection of your own failures to see how far you’ve really come.

  • Keilo

    “Luck is when opportunity meets preparation.”- so true! I was meant to read this today!

    • http://www.listenmoneymatters.com/ Andrew Fiebert

      I’m glad you liked it Keilo – I like to keep that phrase in my head so I’m always prepared :)

  • brokeGIRLrich

    Ugh, I have definitely had failure on my mind a lot this summer… and trying to overcome the stigma attached to it.

    I read this great book a few weeks ago about entrepreneurs and one of them recounted a story where at their dinner table growing up, their dad asked them what they failed at that day instead of what they’d done right. She said it totally removed the stigma of failing, since her dad instilled in her that not even trying was a way worse failure than failing at something.

    • http://www.listenmoneymatters.com/ Andrew Fiebert

      I can definitely resonate with trying to overcome it – it resurfaces often, especially as an entrepreneur!

      Thanks for sharing that story about the Dad, I will most certainly do that when I’m a Dad. I think it’s an excellent idea!