We first met Adam Carroll when he came on to talk about his movie about college loan debt. He’s back to discuss loving our kids too much.
What a weird concept. Loving your kids too much. But it can be true. By giving them too much, by coddling them from every possible disappointment, we turn them into ineffectual adults.
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From ensuring that everyone gets a trophy to always giving them money when they ask, kids today can’t handle normal disappointment and have never had to work or struggle for anything. Mom and Dad are always waiting, poised to smooth whatever path their children are on. But in the name of loving them, we’re taking away character building opportunities.
There are good reasons parents do this. They feel guilty for working so much and not spending enough time with their kids. They’re divorced and feel guilty for breaking up the two parent home. But the four most important words to say to your children are “I love you” and “no.” But no with a reason. When you say yes, it means so much more.
You can see how this relates to money. It’s not the amount of money you give them, it’s whether or not you teach them how to handle money. No one values what they haven’t earned. Even very young children can understand some simple money concepts.
Because you behaved in the grocery, you get to have Type 2 Diabetes.Tweet This
There is a balance between saying yes to everything and saying no to everything. If you give your kids an allowance, split it into percentages. Certain percentages are for spending, saving, and giving. We spoke to the founder of Zela Wela about a similar concept in Episode 176. There are teachable moments every day if you’re looking for them.
Everyone loves their kids but that means doing what is best for them, not what is easiest for you.
Succeed Faster: Adam’s site to help you build a bigger life.
Broke, Busted and Disgusted: Adam’s upcoming documentary about student loan debt.